Monday, November 28, 2005

God gives a quick review of "Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire"

Hello my children!

First let me state that I never intended to wait so long between posts but as Steve Miller once said "Time keeps on slippin', slippin'...into the future".

So anyway the Mrs. and I assumed human guises (Hey, it always worked for Zeus...that's a Greek Mythology reference for you uneducated losers out there, and yes I'm talking to you Steve H. in Ohio) and shuffled off to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on opening weekend. We both had quite the time and she enjoyed the movie as much as I did. She still steadfastly refuses to read the books (Don't ask me why, even God doesn't understand the complexities of the female mind) so she didn't notice the changes scattered throughout the 2 and a half hour Potter-fest.

My opinion of the film is that it's now my favorite of the series, eclipsing the previous film Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Goblet of Fire seems to be less flashy then Prisoner of Azkaban, in that installment it almost seemed like the director, Alfonso CuarĂ³n, was so giddy at having the enormous budget to play with that he couldn't resist adding all kinds of technical/cinematic wizardry just because he could. Goblet of Fire was much more straightforward and unassuming, which worked quite nicely.

As in the other films, the cast are spot on...I simply can't imagine anyone else but Rupert Grint as "Ron Weasley" and while Daniel Radcliffe is still kinda wooden in scenes he's really the only person I now see as "Harry Potter". Looking at Emma Watson makes me feel like a dirty, dirty Diety...she's gonna be so hot when she gets older...trust me folks, I know things. "Mad-Eye Moody", as played by Brendan Gleeson, absolutely rocks and I love every minute he's onscreen.

All in all the only complaints I have with the film are that there's too little of Alan Rickman, Gary Oldman and Jason Isaacs and the surprise "twist" (as though anyone, except my wife, didn't already know what it entailed) was kind of blown about 45 minutes from the end. Also, despite everyone else's opinion I don't care for Ralph Fiennes as "Lord Voldemort"...I think Tim Roth or Pierce Brosnan would've been a much better choice...both those guys can be scary. Who exactly could be scared of a dude who's name is pronounced "Raif" for Heaven's sake?

In closing, I rather enjoyed my latest visit to The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and I'm really looking forward to the next film Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. If Hollywood keeps crankin' these Potter movies out at the rate of one a year they'll be breathing down J.K.'s back for that seventh book pretty soon. She'd better get busy and start pounding out that first draft.

As an all-knowing being it's been particularly hard to block out the ending of the series but so far I've managed it. That's the great thing about being undisputed master of all things...you can actually limit your knowledge about things you'd rather not know about. Such as the ending of the Potter books, the secret of the island on Lost and what kind of "O" face Vice President Dick Cheney makes.

It comes in handy as hell, lemme tell ya.

I slipped once and accidentally caught Bea Arthur in the shower...I'm still trying to recover from that trauma.

So until next time, remember the words of Bill and Ted, "Be excellent to each other and party on dudes!"

1 Comments:

At 7:57 AM, Blogger God said...

You're welcome...and don't go pretending you haven't fantasized about that sight your entire adult life because you're not fooling anyone.

You dirty, dirty little girl.

 

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