The worst kept secret in the history of the Universe.

The time has come for me to enlighten you to the worst kept secret in all of Creation.

I...God make mistakes.

I know, I was surprised to find out about it myself, so I dare say that none of you are more upset about it then I am. The prospect of me being a little on the imperfect side weighs heavily on divine mind too.

I've got a lot of "irons in the fire" as you say on Earth. There's a ton of decisions that all have to be made immediately and I've got to make them. So, I do the best I can (which is usually pretty damn good if I do say so myself) with the time alloted to the particular instance. So far my record has been pretty good, but there are some glaring mistakes out there.

Want an example of one of God's mistakes? Then try this one on for size faithful reader.

When animals are born they are usually up and walking around in a matter of hours or days. They are given basically everything they need to know in order to survive. There's no learning how to walk, speak, hunt, feed themselves or anything like that...they basically just "know" how to do it. I've bred instinct into them that allows then to be virtually self sufficient in an amazingly short period of time.

But, when a human child is born, it's virtually immobile for months at a time and doesn't even have the most basic instinctual mental coding. All they do is lay there and cry. They have to learn how to talk, walk, feed themselves...everything must be learned. The only instincts that are hard wired into their brains are "eat, shit and sleep". Now stop and think about that for a minute. Does that make any sense at all? An animal is damn near capable of taking care of itself in a matter of days and you've still got to wipe your babies ass for 6 months. Mankind is the dominant and favored life form on the planet but animals enter life better prepared then you do.

That, ladies and gentlemen is a mistake...plain and simple.

I screwed up and should've handled that better. But live and learn I always say. That's why I need good, intelligent people up here. People who can watch out for any holes in my divine plans or flaws in my impressive logic.

I like to gather my team together and brainstorm on some possible solutions to any particular problem. So while I'm in the middle of making these decisions I'll talk out loud..."What about if I did this?" and what I need at that point is someone to go "yeah...that's perfect" or "are you crazy?". I need people around who give me honest input and are not afraid to differ with my point of view. There is no place in Heaven for a kiss-ass.

All the kiss-asses on Earth have no place in my Heavenly council. They might make it past the Pearly Gates depending on what St. Pete finds in the Book of Life but that doesn't mean that I'll ever ask for their opinions on anything.